Thursday, September 29, 2011

gratitude and nonattachment

My friend Shelby does beautiful paintings of horses. Having only been on a horse once in my life, I never gave them much thought, but her paintings were so expressive, they made me look. This is my first attempt, from a photo at Paint My Photo. I hope to have some opportunity to photograph horses in NM.
I had to paint something to post this morning just to say thank you for all the comments on yesterday's post: when I woke up this morning my inbox had so many comments to moderate in it--I was, and am, really touched and grateful. You inspire me.
Giving  more thought to my "reasons" for not painting, I think that the real root of it--in spite of tiredness, time constraints, and the very real necessity, which Melinda noted, of having time out to let ideas percolate--is attachment to outcome: my original sin. Sometimes I feel I've overcome it, but then it creeps back: I guess that's just one of struggles we face.
I do think just keeping the paint wet is a good strategy for keeping the focus on the doing, not the outcome. Maybe if I paint a simple object every day--an apple or a flower--not an arrangement, not a scene, then just toss it aside I can re-cultivate nonattachment. ...
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Wednesday, September 28, 2011

premature anticipation

It's been awhile. I don't know why ... Well, I haven't been painting; there are always so many "reasons" I can come up with, but I guess they don't matter really, since it seems to happen periodically, unavoidably.
My excuse this time is just being busy making money. I'm self-employed and have a compulsion to finish whatever I'm working on; so that, even when I put it away for the day, I either can't relax or my brain is too tired. Also, I have so many things I want to paint--too many, especially my Chinese lanterns, the one success of my garden this year--which leads to paralysis.
But, I'm going to New Mexico later this week, for ten days!, to paint. So maybe I've just been saving my energy?
So, back 10/13, with, I hope, some new work.
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