Friday, April 23, 2010

the year of unburdening

(4x6 hot press)
I missed the magnolia blossoms and have nearly missed out on my irises. Actually I've been avoiding them because I find them so very difficult. The picture at the end shows my first go, which I thought suffered from too much drawing and fussy concern about the color.
In response, I did the freehand painting above, and then painted over my first one, below.
Not perfect, but definitely more fun. (4x6 hot press)

Since I turned fifty in December 09 I've been in the hospital twice, never having been hospitalized in all the previous years. It's not "serious" but it is worrying, primarily in how it's impacted my sense of myself. What do you know, I'm not indestructible! The realization's been a blow but, after a few weeks of sulking and thinking and avoiding thinking by painting walls, I'm ready to stop focusing on my newly discovered frailties and rededicate myself to the idea of myself as a fortunate (and healthy) person.
The rest of this fiftieth year is going to one of unburdening, materially and emotionally: I'm casting off for fifty-one.

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16 comments:

RHCarpenter said...

Oh, I love the top one - freehand and loose and beautifully painted on hotpress paper (brave girl). Ah, as for aging. It is a large pain in the behind to find out we, too, are mortal and are aging. I don't like it, either, but the seriousness and fear does pass (speaking as someone who knows her heart will eventually require a major operation but tries not to think about it too much). Perhaps we can be lucky that we have been strong and healthy until now? Wishing you many more decades of healthy living and painting!

Kaylyn said...

Well, Laura, your attempt at Irises came out much better than mine! I scrubbed. There is an art and patience to painting flowers that I don't seem to have mastered!

Hear you on the 50 thing. It is a change and there is much to think about in our changing bodies, minds, world perspective. It is good, but in that painful confusing good sort of way.

Good thing you're painting while you work through your thoughts!

cathyswatercolors said...

Loving the blues, juicy!

I had a similar experience with my health this fall. It really shook me up, depressing really, to think,I could have a disease!? Whaaaat? It just doesn't happen to me!It really set me back but now I am more accepting and well life goes on,hopefully healthy.

Feel better:) You've had a lot with you parents and all.... Peace my friend.(painting is our escape)

Carol said...

Sounds like a good plan! Sorry to hear about your health concerns, though. Hope all is well & the "shedding process" is healing as well.

r garriott said...

Your iris are lovely! They come off as effortless. I agree, they are a most challenging bloom to render.

Hope this coming year sees you healthy again!

Michelle Himes said...

Hi, Laura! I like those irises - good job on the freehand one. So I guess your irises are blooming already. I haven't seen any around here yet. I think they usually show up a week or so before Memorial Day.

BTW, I just turned 65, so you are just a kid. :-)

debwardart said...

50??? Gee, just wait until you hit 60!!! Hope your health issue gets resolved soon.

Luisa said...

molto nello. colore stupendo, brava, ciao luisa

annie said...

Lovely Iris, Laura. So delicate. And all those shades of color...

I hear you about health issues. This winter and spring were an eye-opener for me,too, and such moments do rock us to our roots about our vulnerability. It takes awhile to absorb, doesn't it? But then, one day, we're "Back" and maybe stronger. More resolved, sure enough.
annie

AutumnLeaves said...

I rather love the first painting even more than the second, Laura! I'll be 51 in June and have also been dealing with the realizations that I'm not as invincible as I used to think I was. It IS a startling revelation. And quite not welcome.

Barbra Joan said...

Laura Never think about the number of your age. 50 can be a very eye opening year especially I think for women. If your anything like me I find it difficult to paint when my mind is not content. But it does pass. ps. love your iris, I know they're difficult. I'm about to paint some too.

A Brush with Color said...

Oh, how the heck did I miss these, Laura! Our irises are all popping up, too, and they're beautiful. I think flowers are hard to paint--either I get too "niggling" with them, or they're so loose they just look like blobs, but not flowers at all. Yours are oozy and rich, lush color here!

As for health issues, I'm realizing, at 55, I am most definitely more vulnerable than I ever thought I was; I admit I never really felt that way before. It's a wake-up call, but as you say, a time to be grateful for the health I do have. People around me are in much more difficult straits than me, and I am realizing how fortunate I am. Hope you're doing well, Laura!!

Jennifer Lawson said...

Beautiful irises, Laura. The blue and purples are perfect.

Sherry said...

Ih Laura, I remember fifty! I know what you mean though, that creeping awareness of mortality. Makes a person want to get out, paint, walk, read, gather in friends, and generally live!

I look forward to seeing your garden bloom in your painting. BTW, the new challenge at Calypso Moon Artist is "secret garden," perhaps something you'd like to try?

Ingrid said...

I love your WIP's ... beautiful flowers!

Liana Yarckin said...

great compositions. in dallas, the irises are finished, but, the magnolias are blooming. would you believe, i was roller blading with my sons and taking photos of magnolias and the very last of the irises. i ended up falling flat on my back. i have never had this kind of injury before. i couldn't even wash my hair using my left arm (thank goodness i am right handed)!

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